Vows And Regrets
by pearlzandlace012
Summary: "He was your first love, I intend to be your last." The words echo through her mind, and she believes them. For despite his vow to leave and never return, Caroline believes that he will always come back for her.


The first time he'd met her, he'd wanted to kill her. Wanted to use her to complete his hybrid transformation; to make her his sacrificial lamb. Caroline hadn't died that day, for Jenna, Elena's aunt, had taken her place as the vampire whose life was stolen. That didn't matter. She still hated him.

After that, he'd ignored her for months, until the time came for him to order her death again. This time, it was in a much crueler form - he had sired hybrids to him, and had demanded her boyfriend, Tyler, be the hybrid to kill her on her birthday with his werewolf blood. And, oh, how she hated him after Tyler had bitten her.

But the worst thing of all was that he'd also been her _savior. _He'd come to her room that night as she lay in bed, weakened and crushed by her impending doom. At first, she thought he'd come to mock her, but it was the opposite. He wanted to show her the world.

"_Do you really think I'm that cruel to kill you on your birthday?" he'd asked, hurt - real or fake, she didn't know - clouding his eyes._

_Caroline didn't have to think twice. "Yes."_

He'd surprised her, asked her if she really wanted to die. When she admitted she didn't, he'd given her his blood to save her. But that didn't matter. She still hated him.

Now, months later, he was still pining after her; thinking that by doing her this one little favor, she'd love him. There was no way she could, not after he'd put her friends and her in continuous peril. Funny enough, he thought she would think him a hero after saving their lives because of his own mess.

But a part of her did love him. And she hated that part of herself.

* * *

Caroline slowly returned to her old room, listening to the rhythmic sound of her footsteps over squeaky boards, old memories floating through her head. Here, by the staircase, was where she'd sat in silence when she'd first become a vampire. Here, in the upstairs hallway, she'd lied to her mother countless times, afraid that she would judge her. And here, in this very room, was where she'd brooded for hours, secretly thinking about him.

She'd never admit it, but her darkest fantasies had been about _him_. The dress he'd sent her not long after her near-death, the invitation to his mother's ball, the way he took interest in everything about her, the multiple memories they'd shared.

Hot tears flooded her eyes, and she quickly blinked them back, not willing to confess even to herself, that she'd cried over Klaus Mikaelson. But, oh, how hostile she'd always been to him, and now he was gone. Now there was nothing she could do.

_She stood outside the mansion, still donning his dress with a shawl draped around her shoulders, staring at the horse outside. She'd thought she was alone until he'd approached her from behind._

_"You like horses," he'd remarked, standing in front of her._

_"I'm not talking to you until you tell me why you invited me here," Caroline said, defiance lacing her voice. Why should she have to be polite to the man who nearly killed her several times, only to swoop in at the last second and take all the glory?_

_She'd expected his reply to be sinister or evil, like him; that, she was prepared for, but she wasn't prepared for what he actually did say. "I fancy you," he'd told her._

_When she didn't answer, he continued, "Is that so hard to believe?"_

_"Yes." Caroline looked at him in surprise. He couldn't possibly...no. Monsters didn't have hearts._

_"Why?" he'd asked, clearly taken aback. "You're beautiful, you're strong, you're full of light...I enjoy you."_

_She wasn't going to take some heartfelt nonsense from the man she'd hated for over a year now. "Well, I'm spoken for," she told him. "By Tyler."_

_"And I thought you two ended things."_

_"Yeah, because of you and your freaky sire bond with him!" Caroline was now angry, angry at him for thinking he could just take whatever he wanted. Well, he couldn't have her._

_"So, you aren't spoken for," he said, smirking._

_Caroline only sighed in response._

_"You know, horses are the opposite of people," Klaus said when the horse whinnied. "They're loyal. My father hunted me for a thousand years, and the closest he ever came was the day he killed my favourite horse. He-he severed its' neck with a sword, as a warning."_

_"Did you ever consider...sitting down with your father and talking it out?" Caroline asked._

_"I'm afraid my relationship with my father is a little bit more complicated than yours," Klaus said, smiling sadly._

_"Maybe so," Caroline said curtly. "But I let my father pass with no regrets." She took a deep breath. "And, to answer your question, **yes, **I like horses, but I also like people. And they actually like me, so, I'll be inside."_

She wouldn't have been so hard on him if she'd been able to see the future. She couldn't kill the part of her that still believed he deserved it, however, and for that, she could never truly be sorry. He'd taken one of the only things that brought her joy away from her, and now, he'd taken another thing. And to her, this was unforgivable.

Caroline looked around her room one last time before turning on her heel, rushing down the staircase, and out the front door. Too many memories here at this house. Too many memories everywhere.

But she carried on her day as normal, heading to the Mystic Grill as she always did, this time meeting Stefan to discuss the Katherine-Elena situation. Even after Katherine's death, there were complications. There were _always _complications.

As she walked through the threshold, she saw Stefan already in a booth waiting for her. Putting on a smile, she began heading for Stefan's table, putting her stuff down on the seat next to her when she sat.

"So," Caroline began, not quite knowing what to say. "How are you doing, without...you know..."

"It's hard," Stefan replied. "I don't think Elena's fully herself yet, and I don't know who else to turn to."

"Well...she seems normal," Caroline said. She did partially agree with Stefan, however, it seemed a bit strange that Elena would recover so quickly after being possessed by Katherine.

"That's the thing," Stefan said. "She seems perfectly fine. If she were acting out, now _that _would be normal, considering everything she's been through. But she's acting exactly the way she did before, and that's what worries me. I know Elena is strong, but this? No, this isn't strength, this is a problem."

But Caroline hadn't been listening, as she'd been too focused on the trees surrounding the restaurant. Out there, that was when Klaus had followed her right into a trap on the night Esther planned to kill him and the rest of his family. This was when he'd almost been hit by a car in his pursuit for her, said he wanted to get to know her. She'd never given him that chance.

He was still a horrible person, and it didn't matter. She should be glad he was staying away.

"Caroline?"

"What? Oh, I'm sorry!" Caroline jumped in surprise before brushing her hair away from her face. "Look...I-I have to go, I-I'll talk to you later, okay, Stefan?"

Stefan looked at her in confusion. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah! Yeah, I'm fine," Caroline said, taking a deep breath. She had to get out of here - couldn't be haunted by any more memories of him. Without Bonnie and Elena, she'd never felt more alone, and now she didn't even have Klaus to talk to.

"Are you sure?" Stefan asked, seemingly concerned.

"Yeah. I'll meet you back at the house, alright?" Caroline said, panic lacing her voice she only hoped Stefan couldn't detect.

"Alright, I'll see you then," Stefan said cautiously, not entirely convinced.

Caroline didn't waste any time grabbing her stuff and bolting. As soon as she was out of sight, she used her vampire speed to dash into the forest, not stopping until she was deep into the heart of it. It was only then that she realized what a mistake this was.

The sun shone through the trees, illuminating tiny, uncovered dots on the forest floor, almost as if this were all a dream. It was cruel, it was, for this seemed almost exactly the way it was the last time she'd seen him. The time they'd-

Caroline screeched in fury at this, her scream breaking the dead silence the forest harbored. If she squinted hard enough, she could almost see him. See him chasing after he as she ran to go save Matt.

"_Aren't you even the least bit curious why I'm here?" he'd asked._

_"I literally just whooshed at the sight of your face, so no," she'd replied, annoyed at him for interrupting her search for Matt._

He'd chased after her, even when she denied wanting him to. He had seemed horribly persistent then, but it was something she loved now. She wished she hadn't admitted the truth to him - keep it buried inside, and he could still be here right now. But no, she'd been weak, and now he was gone. And she was too damn stubborn to go after him, to confess that she'd been wrong.

_"I want your confession," he'd said to her._

_She'd been confused. "My confession? I didn't do anything." Rage boiled inside her at his smirking face. "A confession about what?"_

_"Me," he'd replied._

_Caroline hadn't known what to say._

_"As soon as we're done here, I'm going to walk away," Klaus continued. "I'm never coming back. You'll never again have to look me in the eye and cover our connection with hostility and revulsion. You'll never have to loathe the darkest parts of yourself that care for me, in spite of all I've done. I will be gone, and you will be free. I just need you to be honest with me."_

_She hadn't wanted to reveal the truth, but she had anyway. The option had seemed too good to pass up._

_"I'm in college," she started, "I'm building a life for myself. I have...plans, and a future, and things I want - and none of those things involve you, okay? None of them!"_

_"I see-"_

_"No, you don't!" she cried. "Because...yes, I cover our connection with hostility because yes, I hate myself for the truth, so if you **promise **to walk away, like you said, and never come back, then yes, I will be honest with you. I will be honest with you...about what I want."_

_He'd looked at her for a long moment, as if trying to decide if it was all worth it._

_"I will walk away, and I will never come back," he finally said. "I promise."_

_Caroline knew she had to admit the truth now. He was going to leave forever, so there was no point in hiding it anymore, right?_

_Slowly, she approached him, a part of her terrified. "Good," she'd whispered before kissing him. It'd been what she'd wanted to do for months now, and she didn't have to cover it anymore, at least not in this moment._

_He'd just smirked before grabbing her and pinning her against a tree, removing the offensive articles of clothing interdicting his touch. And she'd kissed him, touched him, like she never had before - like she never would again, simply because now she could. The first, as well as the last, time she could._

Caroline swallowed hard as she started back to the Salvatore house, forcing back hot tears. She wouldn't cry over Klaus, she couldn't. It didn't matter that she loved him, no, the only thing that mattered were the people she could count on. Klaus wasn't one of them.

She walked in oblivion, seemingly detached from the world around her, not noticing the people that stared at her determined demeanor in confusion, nor the traffic she froze due to her unyielding strides forward. She was going to get over this, she was, she was, she was!

But before she knew it, Caroline found herself back in her old house, back in her old room. The room she'd started it; the room this all started in! Everything had started here, so it was only suiting for it to end here, too, right?

The room hadn't changed, but how had she expected it to? She'd been here only earlier that day, yet she'd felt that something would be missing - something would have been different, after all, why would she want to return to the same place she'd been just a few hours before?

That was when he came, crossing into the room with his long, powerful strides. Caroline's eyes widened, not completely believing this was happening. Klaus was _here, _he'd come back for _her. _He didn't care about the vow he'd made; why should he? He'd never cared about any other promise he'd made, and Caroline felt like an idiot for honestly believing he'd stay away.

"Klaus," she said, trying to hide the excitement in her voice. Despite the grievances she'd experienced over him being gone, she still felt the need to play slightly hard to get, almost as if the rejecting instinct was bred into her. "What are you doing here?"

He just chuckled at her reaction. "Anxious, my love," he said, taking her hand. "I think you know exactly what I'm here for."

Caroline shivered in anticipation, yet her answer was still remarkably hostile. "Well, whatever you think it is, I can tell you right now, you aren't going to get it," she said, turning away. Why did she still do this? After all this time, why did she still feel the need to do this?

"Caroline," he said gently, placing his hand on her shoulder. "What is it exactly that you want? In case you don't remember, I promised to stay away, and yet, here I am. You haven't exactly banished me, but you haven't been completely welcoming, either. So, what is it? What is it that you truly want?"

"I-" Caroline couldn't answer. He already knew, so why was he forcing her to say it again? "I..."

"What a gentleman would do, is leave right now, and never look back," he said, his hand tracing down her spine as she arched against him. "Is that what you want me to do, Caroline?"

"No," Caroline murmured, ashamed to speak louder. She didn't want him to leave, she'd admitted the truth before, but she still couldn't bring herself to say it again - couldn't bring herself to face the music.

"It's alright, Caroline," Klaus said, his voice a bit louder this time. "I may not have been honest before, but I will now. I just wanted to see you one last time, but now, I will be gone forever. Out of your life...forever. That's what you want, isn't it?"

Caroline turned around to face him, panic showing in her eyes. "No...I...I don't..."

Klaus smirked slightly. "It doesn't matter," he told her. "I will go to New Orleans, and never look back. Your mind wishes that, your body denies it, but I will make the answer easier for you."

"No, wait!" she cried, as he turned to leave. "Don't-don't leave me again."

He paused, turning slightly at the door. "Goodbye, Caroline."

With that, he vanished, and Caroline sank to the floor. "No!" she screamed, tears streaming down her cheeks. "You-you can't leave me, not like you did before! Please, just, come back!"

But there was nothing - the room as silent and empty as ever with the exception of her crying.

Caroline had no dignity left, nothing to hold back the tears from flowing down on the floor, sobs racking her entire body as she cried long into the night. "Don't leave me, Klaus!" she screamed once more, and then, there was nothing.

* * *

-0-

* * *

"Is she still seeing him, Doctor?" a voice asked, gesturing to the blonde-haired girl before them, her eyes glazed over yet still eerily wide open.

"Yes, I'm afraid," the doctor replied. "I heard her screaming out for him, begging him not to leave her. Who 'he' is, we're still not sure - whether he's a figment of her imagination, or a real person, we haven't determined yet."

"It's taken fifty years," the brunette said. "She's been like this, practically comatose, for fifty years, yet she still cries for him and does not look a day over seventeen."

Caroline could hear every word they were saying, even as she lay there on that bed, the machines' incessant beeping echoing in her head. She wasn't quite sure how long she'd been here, but she knew it'd been a while, despite the fact that she'd just been in her room with Klaus a few minutes ago. How could she have possibly been in two places at once?

The doctors here - they look at her with pity, with sorrow, with amazement. They barely know her true name, for they always refer to her as "The Girl Who Never Ages." Caroline knew they were holding her here, although not with bars or chains, and she knew she could just get up and leave, however her legs prohibited movement. It was almost as if she were paralyzed.

And still, Caroline wondered if the man she called Klaus was real or not, if everything she had ever known had existed, or if it was all a part of her brain's twisted reality. The doctors surely thought so, from the way they monitored her brain activity constantly, to the unexplainable time lapses she frequently suffered. It would all make sense to label it a delusion, but was it?

_No. _It couldn't be - it felt so real, but every time Caroline woke up again, she was still here - in this room, at this hospital. That didn't matter. He was still real, at least to her.

But the days dragged into weeks, the weeks into months, and the months into years. Doctors came and went, and still Caroline couldn't move. She could only stare at the ceiling above, even as war raged on, as storms struck, as people fled, and time stretched endlessly. Still, she waited. She was _always _waiting.

0-0

Now, the hospital is deserted - thick blankets of cobwebs hanging from the ceiling, endless mounds of dust piling onto the floor, where a crumbling building in a torn-down city still stands. There hasn't been any form of life in too many years to keep track of.

But even now, as her body breaks down, her blood drying, her skin turning cold, she waits. Even as she decomposes, the young, blonde haired girl, not a day over seventeen, waits.

"_He was your first love. I intend to be your last," _his words echo. _"However long it takes."_

And she believes him.

That is why she waits all these years, even as she's dying, even when she can no longer form coherent thoughts. She waits for the man of her darkest desires, her twisted fantasies, the deepest corners of her soul; she waits.

She waits even as she dies because she believes that one day, the mystery man that no one could ever discover, Klaus Mikaelson, would come and save her.


End file.
